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you know you love me.xoxo
My name is ANG.ZHILIN.Turning 18 this year.Loving heartofGodchurch and D5.studying in nyjc 0832! |
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wow. it do wrecks my heart. just finished talking to this guy. well, i remembered reading his blog, which was full of praise for Lord and could see that he was really on fire for Jesus. it was quite a suprise that he talked to me through msn. i mean like for almost 2 years?! haha. since he graduated. what really wreck my heart is that he lost his faith and left the walk with God. and strongly believe that he will never return. he was so strong so strong in the past, so what really happened? full of doubts but not faith. he said i was talking like him in the past, when he was so on fire for Christ. i told him i really hope that that the past him will really come back then. well, he did asked my thousands of questions that really knock me down. and yes, theoretically, it may sound logical. then what is logical. he felt that he is now more rational compared the past, then what is rational. what is logical without God. what is rational without God. what is me without God. i wondered where his faith went to. a young man, still in his teens, who were once so strong, left His kingdom and promised never to return. i strongly believed he made the WRONG choice. a wrong choice doesnt mean a dead end. he chose the wrong way doesnt mean he cant choose again. i still strongly believe he will be back for Christ, back for God. where i felt his life will be happier. i know God still loves him. it set me into deep thinking. deep deep. deep down. sometime, i do doubt myself. yes, i doubt that if im really for Jesus, and nearly, took a step back. thanks God, everytime, i fought back, and step forward instead. i dont wanna ever doubt myself, i dont wanna ever leave God. i love Him, and He loves me. that is a fact, that never change. |